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 Sunflowers

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Elayla

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Female Number of posts : 99
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PostSubject: Sunflowers   Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:59 pm

Oookayyyy...me misses receiving constructive criticism from people and .... no else, no other than Arinin-sama pe care am dezamagit-o pana acum prin lipsa mea de activitate. ^_^
Cumva, astazi, mi-a venit chef sa public/postez.
Chestia de astazi...pentru ca nu poate fi numita decat chestie...eventual, poveste scurta de revista care va fi premiata cu o carte de prost-gust intr-o revista de fete (da, ma duce cu gandul la Cool Girl )...am scris-o intr-o zi de vara, dupa ce, in drum spre casa de la Cluj, ai mei s-au oprit langa un lan plin cu floarea soarelui sa culeaga si sa manance dude. (man, they are good!) Afara mirosea...very country-like. Dar cumva, mi-a placut...mi-a adus calm si o idee...here it is.



When this was just a story, she was travelling back home in an old car alongside her parents. Nobody spoke and their silence became part of the nature with every minute, so it was only natural that it was kept for ages to be.
Little Emily held her hands on her knees as she was running and hiding in one of her crazy dreams. Clouds followed her everywhere but dinky rays of sunshine were crawling to see the earth...a cold place, a cold memory. World is elusory and so where these moments, those entire seasons of forgotten flowers. Nothing that we see or touch is real, we are now sleeping covered in our baby-blanket, kept aside from any source of light. When life, true life will come forth...we are to awaken and follow it through hardship or roses.

But in that dreamy place, Emily was dreaming something more the air provided by a heartless machine, an oil scented air smelling of city and cars, got a glance of a another scent a field dressed in prismatic flowers, thistle, daisies and poppies, smelling of wind playing through those and more mulberry and sheep. What a lovely aroma...she could only catch it for a glace of a second no less, no more.
But at that very instant, her heart was filled with unendurable pain....regret, memories...short flashes of a fake, fake memory...of a sick, sick mind...of a sad, sad story.

Emily didn't know if she was the suffering heroine or just a witness, but she heart began aching hard enough to be torn apart. Long, unsuspected pain that wouldn't stop...a weak heart, so small and helpless that it couldn't even exit the body.
She turned her wet head to her right wishing to see where she was running away from.

It was not a cold, ugly place as it should have been but dark and grassy. And from time to time, little spots of golden flowers popped out of the ground and smiled to little Emily. She smiled back.

At that very instant, her mother had the car stopped and, without saying a word, got out and picked three of those sacred miracles and placed them in her daughter's arms.

What beauty surrounded her! Tears could have been sweet and meaningfull. Light rose from the sun's lovers and filled her face and her thoughts. How could ever Sun forget such deities on this fruitless Earth? But it mattered no more...for such gifts are rare and one should better never question them. Never!

Love your sunflower, love your light and never question your usefullness!

Her mother dragged out a small mirror and little Emily could steal a glace of her eyes without anyone to see - her little secret! How beautiful she was anoung these flowers. Tears drenched her face and life became bitter-sweet.

One day, the withered petals will fall on her childlike hands and cover her past. Her very soul will dry....one day, the withered golden flowers will fall upon her dead body.

But for now, life was just an ilusion.
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arinin

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PostSubject: Re: Sunflowers   Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:57 pm

Cand am vazut ca, in sfarsit, ceva de-al tau a aparut pe forum, m-am bucurat enorm. Dupa ce am citit primul rand, descoperind ca aceasta e povestea pe care mi-ai dat-o sa citesc ACUM UN AN, te-am injurat. I really did it...
Nu te voi bate la cap sa scrii ceva nou - desi o meriti - dar trebuie sa remarc ceva ce prima oara nu observasem: bati spre expresionism. Si in poeziile tale ai tendinta asta. "De cum ne nastem, murim incetul cu incetul", fair enough. Your vision of life, probably...I find you too cute and funny for such a sad philosophy...but look who's talking ^^'
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Elayla

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Female Number of posts : 99
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PostSubject: Re: Sunflowers   Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:32 pm

Nu ti-am dat-o acum un an!!! Am scris-o in iulie si am postat-o la un journal pe Gaia, dar arata ca a avut 0 readers!

Bine, bine...o sa pun ceva nou cat de curand. Just because you asked. ^_^ Feel important!
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Pikab00m



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PostSubject: Re: Sunflowers   Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:54 pm

Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner !!!
Povestea ta e superba din majoritatea punctelor de vedere(ai cateva greselute de redactare though) , dar daca as avea cv de criticat ar trebui sa fiu prea idiot. Ai reusit sa descrii totul intr-un mod ingenios , a breath-taking event , care sincer m-a impresionat. Atenta la fiecare detaliu ,aruncand simboluri si idei filosofice la orice pas , cu o exprimare 90% originala ai reusit sa ma castigi ca fan al tau ^^ . Pt prima creatie a ta pe care o citesc suna delicios si daca ar fi ceva de spus este : I WANT MORE ! Nu sunt sadic sau cv de genu' , probabil natarau but anyway , povestea ta mi-a oferit un camp deschis , o minte libera si pot spune ca am reusit sa arunc o privire in trecut ... long term memento .....
Intr-un fel ciudat arta literara e ca pop-corn-ul , odata ce mananci una vrei mai mult . Ei bine , nu pot spune decat ca floricelele tale au aroma mea preferata .
Intrebarea este : Ma vei lasa oare sa flamanzesc ?
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dark_inside_like_a_demon
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PostSubject: Re: Sunflowers   Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:11 pm

trebuie sa recunosc, ca in afara de arinin nu m-as mai fi asteptat sa posteze si altii pe aici.....in primul rand, povestioara ta mi-a atras atentia prin faptul ca e scrisa in engleza....I know...suna prostesc, insa, dupa parerea mea, totul pare mai expresiv asa....ai scris intr-o maniera ce dovedeste originalitate si gandire profunda.....chiar daca povestioara ta este destul de sad, totul este descris frumos....ideile curg usor.....insa din pacate nu stiu destula engleza ca sa traduc tot ce ai scris.....

si am o intrebare, toate one-shot-urile tale sunt in engleza?....nu mai am ce comenta...prima creatie deja mi-a lasat impresia ca este un om care are ce arata prin ceea ce scrie altora....bravo si continua....abia astept sa mai citesc si alte creatii de-ale tale

_________________

OMFGO_____o. I just love this guy!!!
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arinin

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Female Number of posts : 88
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PostSubject: Re: Sunflowers   Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:31 pm

Elayla is the new queen of the fanfic zone!!! All hail Elayla-sama!!!
Cred ca ar trebui sa marturisesc de fata cu tot forumul: Elayla este muza mea si datorita ei, eu m-am apucat de scris!
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Elayla

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Female Number of posts : 99
Age : 27
Location : Elysium
Job/hobbies : sleeping, reading, biting, day dreaming, other useful activities
Humor : -finger-
Karma :
8 / 1008 / 100

Warning :
0 / 1000 / 100

Status :
Registration date : 2008-09-08

PostSubject: Re: Sunflowers   Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:45 pm

Embarassing remarks are not allowed!


-hugs you-
Okkkkaaaayyyy....promit sa mai scriu, dar nu atat de des...e randul tau, Arinin. Eu am apuc in weekend....

Thank you all above for your opinions. Ma bucur ca v-a placut si sper sa nu va dezamagesc in continuare.

P.S.
Cheesyness is because my tired eyes. ^_^
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